Can't you see the moons tears?

Can't you see the moon's tears?
I was lonely my entire life. During my young childhood I was blind, and then sent to an orphanage. My parents declared that I was too much money and will be a curse. They named me Lucine because my eyes are gray and I was born at night when the full moon came out. I have black long straight hair, and my mother told me I was beautiful for everything I was. I can't explain why sending me to an orphanage and telling me I was a curse in the end ever showed I was beautiful in anyway. I never talked to anyone at the orphanage; I stayed where I was and waited till I was spoken too, like my father said many years ago when he beat me. Every day I would sit outside and watch the children play or I would draw on some paper. No one really cared about me. I am fourteen years old now and I have been in the orphanage from when I was five years old. I always wonder when someone will adopt me, but every time I was presented to a couple I was told by them "Sorry little girl but we aren't looking for someone like you". This has happened countless times now, I wish I could be happy once in my life. I felt like God was shunning me. Like someone slammed a door in front of my face and never came out because he didn't want to waste time on me.  I hated reality because it ruins everything special about dreams. I wish there was no such thing as reality and only dreams.

I lay down on my bed one night and closed my eyes. I have my own room with thin foam as a mattress and a few drawers.  Some people share rooms too, the orphanage was like being in a boarding school. I became very sad because no one wanted to share a room with me, for many years. Tears of faint warmth walked down my face as I opened my eyes. It was day already; it meant that I had no sleep the entire night. That was very peculiar, because I feel fully rested and as if though I could do countless cartwheels across a yard. I ventured to the yard in a nice green shirt and a wonderful, light-weighted, white skirt. I felt so happy for no reason, until I saw the tree I usually sit on to draw or watch the kids play. I forgot I was alone. I continued to sit on the bench next to it and looked at the yard as it contained no children.  I looked down and hated myself for being so over joyed for no reason. It was until someone called me.
"Hey! Young lady, what is your name?" asked the voice. "
I looked up and answered, "Good morning, my name is Lucine", and it was until I looked up; I saw a boy who was apparently my age talking to me.
I was surprised and he replied," My name is Hiro,ha~ I know it sounds pretty weird".
I felt my eyes glistening and widen as if it were going to burst, someone has actually talked to me in a friendly matter. He has a nice straight dark brown hair and brown eyes. My skin was a bit paler than his but it did not matter. I could say he was taller than me, but I wouldn't care either.
"Ha~ It is very nice to meet you!" I said, and I felt a blush on my face as if it were to catch a fever anytime now. I noticed he was blushing too and he looked down for a bit. Did I make him sad?
"Oh! I am sorry, did I make you sad?" I asked.
"No, no! I am fine; I just took a good look at your face and realized how beautiful you were", he said in a rapid speed, maybe he was nervous but I saw him blush more.
"So, what do you like to do?" he questioned and took a seat next to me.
"Uh, I like to draw, is that something great?" I answered with un-sureness he will like it.
"That is cool I do that too, may I view a few art works?" He asked.
"Sure, I keep them in my room in the orphanage", I replied as I got up and took mighty steps,
"Alright, I will come along!" he shouted and walked along side, "Lucine?"
I paused and replied" Yes?"
"I forgot to mention that I was a new in the orphanage", he stated.
"That is great! I am an orphan too! I have been here for so long, I can show you around", I commented with a smile.
We continued to walk along to the orphanage and into my room; I noticed my room is a lot larger than it was. I felt like it was a new discovery!
"Here we are, so you could wait a bit and let me find my folder, ok?" I said and was followed by an agreement. I looked through my shelf and found it.
As I turned around he said, "I feel a bit strange, the other kids I saw earlier never really came up to me to greet me but, they all looked at me with a mean face if I greeted them", and he looked downwards like a rose who has died.
"Don't worry, I am the same. In fact no one ever talked to me for ten years, and I am still living", I mentioned with a slight crack in my voice.
"I hope we can be good friends, then" he said with a faint blush, "I hope I am not going too fast as to being good friends when I have just met, but you remind me of myself".
"That is great, I look forward as to being good friends", I smiled and handed him my drawing folder.

I stared at him as he turned and looked at a page, after page. I was trying to see his reactions to my drawings and I felt like every page flip was echoing the room. My heart was pounding hard; I hope his comments are not mean.
"Wow, nice pencil techniques!" he commented and my heart skipped a beat.
"T-thanks! I bet you draw well too, yes?" I asked him.
"I do but, my mother…. Well she burned the house just recently and died", he replied," My artworks are no longer available because it is all ashes. Just last week I witness my dad commit suicide with a gun".
"Are you okay now? I am sorry to hear that", I said and felt regret in asking him such a question.
"I am fine, I am happy I met someone like you today", he replied," I would like to learn more about you if it is no problem, and you could learn about me at the same time".
"I have no problem, If it makes you feel any better, I would be happy to accompany you".
We both walked back to the tree with my folder and chatted along the way. I felt my heart racing with every word, it was like a dead vine revived then was freely binding and releasing all the sadness.
"I wonder how you ended up here in a young age?" he asked.
"Me? Well I witnessed my mom and dad telling me I was expensive and a curse many years ago. Today I do not know what I did to anger them", I replied feeling a bit of nostalgia for my second year of life.
We sat under the tree until midday, but it felt like only a few minutes! I thought it was nice but Hiro said he saw a lake across a hill in the forest when he came and that he wanted to go there. I agreed but what were we going to do there?
So I asked him," What are we going to do there?"
"To take a small dip of course!" he explained and I could see his face glow," It is a bit of a hot day and when I was young I would take a dip in a lake. Have you ever done this before?"
"Y-yea! I guess…." I lied; I didn't want him to think I was so inexperienced.
"Well, first you got to bring a towel, I will pack a bag so we can go to the lake", he reassured.
I agreed to it and sat down waiting for him. I was thinking of brining something light to swim with. I never went swimming before, but I thought it was best I never told him. Hiro came back with a bag as he promised.
"Hey, where are you staying anyways? Which room?" I asked.
"I haven't decided yet, I wasn't assigned to a room yet", Hiro replied," Could I stay with you, in your room?"
I was blushing a bit and then agreed to him. We found a trail that could lead us to the river and it did. It was a bit strange to see some rope with a few knows tied to a tree with a few knots. The tree was on a cliff-like rock in to the lake, the small pebbles were all smooth and flat. It felt great so I took a rock and asked Hiro to put it in the bag. The next thing I knew Hiro grinned and held me like a baby. He was looking at me and laughing and then looked outwards. I was afraid, what was he going to do? He ran up the cliff and threw me in to the lake. SPLASH! I was so frightened, I did not know how to swim and I think I swallowed some water and splashed around. I felt a cool in my body like nothing was moving and then a light rise. I opened my eyes and coughed out a lot of water. I sat up straight, and was very frightened. What was going to happen? I was in his arms and it felt peculiarly awkward.
"Sorry", he frowned, "I wasn't behaving in a gentle manner".
"It is alright, I am still living aren't I?" I joked.
"I guess, I noticed I didn't ask. Do you know how to swim?" he asked.
I stopped smiling and replied negative. He put me down beside the tree. I was cold and wet. It never felt good; as if it were winter in the lowest degrees ever possible.
"I will teach you sometime ok?" he offered with a smile," It is running late, we need to go back to the orphanage, are you hungry by the way?"
"A little, why?" I replied," I had too much fun to remember".
"I have two apples in my bag, let me give you one", he insisted.
I accepted it and wrapped myself with a towel. We ate the apples on the way. I hair is a bit short and below shoulder length so it dried quickly, and my skirt dried too. The wind was a bit of help from god. When we reached I talked to a care taker at the orphanage for the first time. We both asked her if Hiro could share a room with me. A few moments we waited and then she agreed. She told us to clean up ourselves and then come to the cafeteria to eat.

I was so happy and I think Hiro was happy too! We both ran to our room and went to the restroom separately. Hiro went first and I waited on my bed. My clothes I was going to change into was ready, and so was my towel. I lay in my bed ready to thank God. When I blinked my eyes, I heard Hiro's voice shouting my name faintly. LUCINE! When I opened my eyes, I noticed it was morning already. How? I franticly jumped to my feet and searched everywhere for Hiro. I came to realization that Hiro was not real. It was a dream. I was not even wearing a green shirt or a white skirt. I wanted to cry, there was no one in this world that I can be friends with. No one would love me. I took the knife I hid in my closet. I was going to cut myself then let myself bleed and then cut my chest because my heart no longer has a purpose. Before I did anything someone opened the door. Hiro?
"Hello?" he asked," Are you ok, dear friend?"
"Hiro? Is it really you? Was I dreaming? "I asked.
"I am sorry I do not know you. It is a bit creepy you calling my name and I do not know yours", he replied.
"What? I just met you and I was sharing a room with you?" I explained and whispered to myself," was it all a dream?"
"I do not know what you are talking about, but I will walk away now… and I will pretty much stay away from you. I just moved here today by the way", he explained and just walked away like he had no problem.
My eyes were full of tears. I was so depressed and heart broken.  My entire world had fallen down; I was mentally cracking and ran out of the orphanage.  I cannot take this melancholy anymore! I do not think Hiro wants to be my friend ever again. I recalled the lake I visited in my dream and ran through the trail. The lake was real, so I held a heavy stone and climbed on the cliff. Before I jumped I glanced at the water, I can hear Hiro laughing and when I held the rock I thought of hugging him. I held the rock tight and jumped of the small cliff. The rock was a big part of helping me drown. I never knew how to end my melancholy, but I hope I am remembered. I, Lucine Muranco, had died June 5th 1998 at eight thirty in the morning. I wish never to be forgotten.